Billionaire Buccaneer: The Idea

When I started playing Eve, I immediately realized that it was a game of patience. You couldn't just show up and start kicking ass out of the gate. You had to WAIT. You had to PREPARE. And I was willing to do just that. And I did just that. After a bit of foundering around, I joined the prestigious Eve University to learn the ins and outs of pod piloting.

The best part about Eve University (aside from the excellent classes available) was 0.0 access. Of course, Eve University was allied with The Big Blue, which was already in the habit of providing 0.0 access to just about everyone, but being a student of E-UNI gave you access to a members-only system as well.

So, in between classes (which don't really take up a lot of my time), I would basically be a big giant carebear. I mined crokite until I earned my first Raven class battleship, and then I used that to rat and rat and rat. And rat. AND RAT. I also mined occasionally and even dabbled in manufacturing a bit. Now, it's not like I NEVER saw combat, but it was always something that cost money, even if I was on the winning side.

Anyway, after months of hardcore carebearage, I found that I had not one, but two billion ISK in the bank. Of course, most of that money came from lucky spawns here and there, but for someone with no interest in the T2 market or faction modules, it sure looked like a fortune.

But what to do? I perused the forums for ideas. I could metaphorically roll around naked in piles of ISK like a perverted Scrooge McDuck! Or I could build a POS and call it "Devilish Ledoux's House of Myriad Sweaty Distractions". I could corner the market on Exotic Dancers (which would tie in nicely with the POS idea). I could hire a herald to follow me around, singing my praises in local.

Looking at my bank account, two things crossed my mind. The first was that I didn't need to keep ratting anymore. The second was that ... I wanted to go kill someone.

Sure, I could afford to go crazy with the PvP. I could throw ships away like candy ... but I didn't want to just piss all my money away. No. I wanted to make money doing the only thing I have never been able to make money doing: Blowing up other people's ships. That's right. I wanted to be a pirate.

So I decided to see how long it would take me to make pirating profitable. I'd start with exactly 2 billion ISK. I would, of course, need to spend some money up front to establish myself as a pirate. Then, once the initial investment is made, I would track my daily progress. I would continue doing so until my bank balance returned to 2 billion ISK.

Rules:
#1 The only money I can make will be from piracy. Ransoms, bounties, and the sale of plunder are the only allowable forms of income. Any money recieved from other source will be immediately transferred to my lovely assistant (my fiance, who also plays Eve).

#2 No podkilling, unless it's in the course of a ransom attempt. I will not podkill anyone unless they refuse to pay a ransom. I'm doing this for the money, not just to piss in people's Cheerios.

#3 While temporarily ganging up with other pirates will be allowed, I will not join any corporations (pirate or otherwise) until my goal has been reached, or until it becomes obvious that I cannot achieve the goal.

#4 No pirating my former classmates in Eve University. Even though it would be easy ;)

So here I go. If you're really really bored, feel free to follow me on my piratey adventures.

And no, you can't have a loan.